The Illiterate--Music



	The Illiterati Books Movies Music Misc. [Previous entry: "Walking On Thin Ice"] [Main Index] [Next entry: "Weird Music"] 04/03/2003 Entry: "Coming back" Making my way back...(you can hum the rest) I can offer no good excuse for not posting here more often. It’s not that I haven’t been listening to a lot of music. If anything, I’ve bought and listened to more new music in the last year or so than I did in the previous five (hereafter referred to as “the time of the great freeze”). And since I used to write about music for a living, or at least part of a living, I should have something to say, right? I’m not going to try and put the blame for my lack of interest or productivity, as some have, on the “current state of pop music." That’s bullshit. Yes, things have been kind of down in general, and last year was pretty poor. But, too often, complaining about the deadness of the current scene is just a lame excuse critics use when they reach the point where they can’t dredge up the energy to care anymore. Whenever critics approach the limits of their own, generally narrow, interests, or when they suddenly find themselves no longer impressed by the brash, adolescent guitar buzz of earlier days, they blame the scene, as if they were embarrassed to admit that they may have grown up a little, or that their tastes had improved, or that they had only pretended to like that shit in order to get laid anyway. I refuse to give myself that excuse. I lost interest in music for a while for a combination of reasons which had nothing to do with the industry, my own changing musical tastes (which haven’t changed much, because for the most part I was right the first time—fuck off), or the creeping suspicion that people my age (this was in my late thirties), don’t devote those levels of energy or time or rapidly diminishing finances to such an, ahem, immature pursuit. To put it simply, I lost interest in music, and especially writing about it, because, in a variety of ways I will not detail here, my life fell apart. I spent long hours doing nothing but listening to the Pet Shop Boys and feeling depressed (there were other reasons for listening to PSB than being depressed, but they sure provided a great soundtrack), and generally found myself uninterested in anything new. I would make brief forays into other things, but besides being depressed I was broke, and out of touch with what was going on (was anything going on?). As for writing, I had become disgusted with the sound of my own voice, with the tone and tenor of my words, with my inability to come up with anything interesting, at least to me, to say. Have you ever tried to write about music? Seriously, I mean. Not just gossip, or the latest trends, or the larger social implications of the rise and fall of Mariah Carey, or the true meaning of Madonna, but the music itself. I don’t mean music theory, either, all about how the final chorus modulates from C to B flat while shifting meter from 4/4 to 9/8 or something—it’s valuable work, but it’s schematics, it’s not the music itself. The music itself isn’t even the sound that comes out of the instrument or the sound that eventually sets the bones in your ears vibrating. The music is what happens inside your head, inside your brain. It doesn’t exist anywhere else and it can’t be replicated. Just like stepping in a river, you can never hear the same sound twice. Try to write about that, and I can guarantee that 9,999 times out of 10,000 you’ll fail. You’ll make a fool of yourself or you’ll go mad trying--probably both. And to avoid those possibilities you’ll fall back on gossip, and social implications, and politics, and the biz, and music theory. But every time you do you’ll know that you’ve failed somehow, in some essential way, and you’ll become depressed and irritable, and you’ll find yourself listening to the same records over and over again looking for the truth, and you’ll become boring, and bored, and your tastes will narrow, and you’ll declare pop music a fraud, and the current scene dead (not like it was back in the day, I can tell you), and in the end you’ll change careers and either wax nostalgic about your wild rock and roll days, or you’ll put all your memorabilia and super-rare promo material up on Ebay and forget about it. That was part of the block I had come up against. There are only so many times you can describe guitars as screaming, voices as world-weary, and bass grooves as deep (as if a bass groove would be anything else), before the desire to kill yourself, or somebody else, takes over what’s left of your brain. Not that I ever used those terms, mind you—well, maybe once or twice—but they were always floating around as an easy out, and as a reminder of the pitfalls that opened up in every direction. What most critics search for--the good ones, at least—is a descriptive phrase along the lines of the instructions I once heard David Thomas issue to a guitar player before a solo: “Make me regret every decision I’ve ever made.” Inspiration like that, alas, doesn’t come very often in the regular grind of record reviewing. Even if Thomas’s guitarist had gotten exactly the sound he wanted, the best description most reviewers could probably come up with is “blistering.” That might, in a sense, be true (wouldn’t you feel blistered if someone made you regret every decision you’d ever made?), but would be nowhere near as descriptive or poetic. The real job of a critic, as opposed to a reviewer, is that of interpreter and annotator. After taking in the performance or the artistic object--and, one hopes, understanding it--in the artist’s language, the critic must then translate that experience into a totally different language and annotate it in such a way that the reader obtains not only a broader intellectual understanding of the work at hand, but also some idea of the sensation of coming face to face with that work. In this, critics are not much different from artists themselves. The main distinction is that artists seek to translate the raw material of life itself, whereas critics translate life through the already semi-processed work of artists. The advantage for artists is they don’t have to annotate (not in public, anyway, though if they haven’t done the annotative work, at least in their own head, there’s a good chance that their art will be shit). The disadvantage for critics is that they need to know life, and the artist, and their own heads, probably the hardest part of all, well enough to make distinctions between the three and get it all down in a form that, because it needs to be readily understood by as wide an audience as possible, doesn’t admit of much formal experimentation. As Pauline Kael suggested, that’s why there are so few critics and so many poets. I’m not trying to suggest that I copped out by setting myself too high of standards so that failing to meet them could be easily excused. I’m trying to say that I was just too wiped out, for a long time, to even make the attempt, and that I’m only now, in dribs and drabs, recovering the strength to make another attempt. I’m also only now understanding what actually is involved. The advantage of youth is that you’re willing to stumble on without knowing exactly where you’re going, because you figure you’re bound to make it eventually. The advantage of age is that you know you probably won’t get there, but you at least know where you’re heading, so you don’t stumble as much. Now we can see what happens. And, in the meantime, a few records I can recommend: Amy Rigby: 18 Again A compilation from her three albums on Koch, now out of print. The brave saga of late thirties marrieds, singles, and looking. The style is somewhere between alt and mainstream country with a little blues and pop mixed in, with a vulnerability rare in any of those styles. Her voice is so open you expect her to either start laughing hysterically or break down crying any second, but she’s too tough to do either. And when she urges her current boyfriend to off her ex, you realize what a trap that apparent vulnerability can be--for her as well as for him. 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